7.03.2012

I want to tell you some things.

I have to be honest, the first thing I want to tell you is this:

Life sucks right now.
I want to tell you how much it hurts to have your heart broken by someone you loved and trusted to not do that very thing.
I want to tell you how lonely it is to have your best friends so far away.
I want to tell you how much it sucks to lose good friends.
I want to tell you how frustrating it is to not being doing something with your life that you really love.
I want to tell you how annoying it is to be asked, "why are you still single?!"  {I always want to respond with, "why is it necessary for me to not be single?!" or "well, actually I'm surrounded by quite the gaggle of people that love me, so I was doing fine until you reminded me that I'm apparently inadequate in society's eyes."}
I want to tell you how tiring it is to be in the same funk every day.
I want to tell you how intimidating life can be alone.

And then I write that all out.  Think about it.  And realize that what I really want to tell you is this:

Life so does not suck right now.
I want to tell you how exciting it is to have so many new opportunities and possibilities in your not-so-distant future.
I want to tell you how liberating it is to realize your dreams and chase after them, because you can.
I want to tell you how good it feels to accomplish something totally on your own.
I want to tell you how valuable the true friends in your life are who take the time and effort to really be in your life.
I want to tell you how awesome it is to love yourself. 
I want to tell you how crucial it is to choose love.  Every day.  For every one.  No matter what they do to you.  It's your job to love them, not punish them.
I want to tell you how ridiculously scary the future is, but also what an exciting adventure it will be!
I want to tell you that no matter how many times your heart is so carelessly broken and no matter how many times you want to crawl into bed and never come out, you can't hoard your love.  You have to give it away, generously. 
I want to tell you that you are so strong... stronger than you think.
I want to tell you that no one can control you without you allowing them to do so.
I want to tell you that Jesus loves you. 
I want to tell you that there is a season for everything.  This too shall pass, but will come again.  But you can handle it.  And kick it's butt.
I want to tell you that sugar is bad for you, water is always the best choice, and black bean salsa is really good.

So... I just wanted to tell you those things.

9 comments:

  1. Love this post so so so much. Wow. I love that you were honest and open, but then became reminded of truth and ended the post with those things. So beautiful.

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  2. I'm glad you shared both sides of the perspective.
    Life is joy. Life is sorrow. Life is both at once.
    I'm most glad that you brought up Jesus. He's my favourite.

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  3. I love your honesty and positive look out despite how things might not be heading in the direction you expected. Someone is always worse off than you. Keep that head up. You have so many blessings in your life!

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  4. love this post. so sorry things are difficult, but you are already looking at things in a positive light. keep on keepin on!

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  5. such a great outlook. I remember struggling with a lot of the "what am I doing?" "where am I going?" questions, and I eventually just learned to enjoy the ride. some of the stuff has sorted itself out, some of it hasn't, but the journey has been (and will continue to be) one I will look back on with a smile. because I enjoyed it.

    keep your chin up. with an attitude like yours, everything will be just fine ;)

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  6. Kelsey,
    I wanted to tell you that it is perfectly ok to be sad sometimes. Sometimes life really does suck. That doesn't mean things won't turn around and become even better than you imagined, but it also doesn't mean you have to be happy every second of your life. You are going through something difficult, and that has value. Even though it feels terrible, you will get through it and you will learn from it. I admire how positive you are even in the midst of everything crappy happening at once, but I hope you allow yourself to be sad when things aren't going well. We don't have to be happy 24/7. I don't know anyone who is.
    Love,
    Caitie

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  7. This post makes my heart hurt, but it also brings me joy and laughter. I love you and your beautiful heart so much! PS This is Caitlin. I can't seem to pick the right ID :( Love you though :)

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